 
              ----->  M A J O R  V I R U S  A L E R T  <-----
 
 
   o  George Bush Virus - Doesn't do anything, but you can't get rid of it
                          until November
 
   o  Ted Kennedy Virus - Crashes your computer but denies it ever happened
 
   o  Warren Commission Virus - Won't allow you to open your files for 75 years
 
   o  Jerry Brown Virus - Blanks your screen and begins flashing an 800 number
 
   o  David Duke Virus - Makes your screen go completely white
 
   o  Congress Virus - Overdraws your disk space
 
   o  Paul Tsongas Virus - Pops up on Dec. 25 and says "I'm Not Santa Claus"
 
   o  Pat Buchanan Virus - Shifts all output to the extreme right of the screen
 
   o  Dan Quayle Virus - Forces your computer to play "PGA TOUR" from 10am to
                         4pm  6 days a week
 
   o  Bill Clinton Virus - This virus mutates from region to region.  We're not
                           exactly sure what it does.
 
   o  Richard Nixon Virus - aka the "Tricky Dick Virus" you can wipe it out,
                            but it always make a comeback.
 
   o  H. Ross Perot Virus - same as the Jerry Brown virus, only nicer fonts are
                            used, and it appears to have had a lot more money
                            put into its development.


 

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